The Toddler in Me

I'm going to make a little confession here...

sometimes my will and God's will don't line up.

Shocker. I know. I'm probably the only one:) Thing is, when that happens there's this little toddler that springs out of this grown woman and stomps her feet. It's not a spiritually pretty sight. That toddler can throw a fit, let me tell you, and containing her can be a bit of a battle.

Lately that toddler has been waging her war over one area of my life and it's been a daily battle--sometimes a minute-by-minute battle--to bring her in line. Oh, it's not something awful or huge that I'm struggling with, but it is something that if that toddler grew up she'd walk me straight out of God's will for my life. Which is why every day God and I are talking. It's why my prayer life is ramping up right now and why I'm digging into Scripture. See, while my feelings some days are to give into the tantrum (and let's not lie, some days I do), I learned long ago that the pinch of submitting to God, even when I don't feel like it, is far better than the pain of having my own way.

So here's where my faith grows. Here's where all our faith should grow. God is bigger than anything we think we may want. He's more knowledgeable over our lives than we are...because he created us. He loves us more than we love ourselves (because we can all swing to the extreme sides of that spectrum). He hurts bigger over our hurts. He desires more vengeance over our pain. He seeks higher justice for us. And he wants each wrong righted. But it is always in his time and in his way. And that last sentence is why so often we fight him. It's hard to submit over an area of our life when he's not moving at the speed or in the way we think he should.

But he's God. His mind is beyond ours. His ways unmatchable to anything we can dream. And either we believe he's sovereign and place our life completely in his hands, or we keep picking it up and warring through our life with him.

I know that I'll always have those spiritual toddler moments. But I thank God he's faithfully brought me through enough that I know he'll bring me through this one. I've just got to keep submitting:)

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:7-8a

Anyone else ever see a toddler in you?